Human Rights

I’m So Over the Word “Bitch” and Other Shaming Tactics

I’m declaring this Resolution Week leading up to 2013 and the grand kick-off of “JC’s going to post more often– hooray!”

Resolution Week #1:


I wrote up (but have yet to post) a “Character Love” post about Gemma from Sons of Anarchy. The very thing that set off this love fest was the poor reaction I had to a moron on twitter who actually said:

Don’t trust that bitch, she been in more laps than the Indy 500

Um. Riiiight.

Click images for photo credit.

Because if a woman behaves the way a man does she’s disgusting and worthless. Double standard much? Seriously world, it’s time to stop hating on women for, you know, existing.

And yeah, I do have a book titled MARITAL BITCH. But, ya know, Marital Pain-In-The-Ass just doesn’t have the same ring to it. And since I’m guilty of using the word myself, I ask this question: What is it about the word “bitch” that is so appealing and what does it even mean anymore?

When a man is called a bitch, the word is used to emasculate him, to make him seem weak. So, being a bitch means you’re weak?

But then when a woman is called a bitch it usually means she’s standing up for herself, or she’s being unreasonable, or she’s on her period. Sometimes a woman is called a bitch as a compliment (Books calls me one all the time), and well, this is the only time I’m really down with the term. Otherwise, the easiest way to get me to act like the “bitch” you’ve accused me of being is by calling me one. Trust me, usually, when someone suggests I’m being a “bitch”, I wasn’t really trying; but I do love a challenge.

And don’t even get me started on “bitching.” Seriously, replace nagging or nag in place of every bitching or bitch in a sentence and it still works. That’s all “bitching” means. And yeah, that usually means you’re acting like a woman.

But why in the hell is acting like a woman (and as a woman, let me tell you, there is no particular way to “act” like a woman) such a bad thing anyway? Why do we, as individuals, give ourselves permission to degrade one another? And who’s place is it to tell me how many times me and my vagina can go around the race track?

Maybe I like Nascar.

So let’s make a deal– we’ll all try to stop shaming women by setting archaic standards for us/them which we do not set for men. And let’s all take a good look in the mirror and be honest with ourselves about how we see the world, and if we don’t like what we see, we can work on changing it.

So, as part of Resolution Week, I am making it official: in 2013 I’m going to try really hard to be more aware of my own behavior and just, in general, be kinder to people because I can’t ask everyone else to work on their own poor behavior if I don’t work on mine.

Here’s to a kinder future and to stop using the b-word

as a shaming tactic and only as a compliment.


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